


Beautiful changes

by howlingmary79



Category: A-Team (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 12:02:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlingmary79/pseuds/howlingmary79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Face finds out something and the whole team must come to terms with the changes in their life.<br/>Chapter 1 to 6 now betaed!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

BA approached the small house outside the base which Face and Hannibal shared, nervously opening and closing his fists. He knew the kid had had a really bad day but unfortunately he knew he couldn’t do anything to help him. Not at this point anyway. 

The main door was closed but, as he was about to knock, he heard the faint voice of the LT from inside, informing him it was open and that he should come in. BA had been there many times before and it always amazed him how meticulously the younger man kept it clean and perfectly tidy, despite the common hearsay that men were messy. This time, however, the small sitting room was a chaos of dismissed clothes, bags and similar stuff; the sofa was slovenly and the comforter that usually was neatly folded on the cushions lay in a heap on the floor. The rest of the man’s meal from last night was still half eaten on the small table in the centre of the room, in the great company of four empty bottles of beer. That, more than anything, alarmed the big guy. He was about to scold Face for his imprudent behavior but then, noticing his miserable state, he went to sit beside him instead. 

“You know you shouldn’t have done it. It’s not safe,” he stated, his calm voice booming in the silence of the house. 

Face just nodded his head and whispered “I know” in return, unable to say anything else. If he wasn’t so desperate, he would have cried out his misery but at this point it was useless. There was nothing he could do to save himself. The only consolation was that Hannibal wasn’t there to see him like that and when he returned Face would already be gone. No more talks, no more kissing, no more sex, no more Hannibal at all. He had made a mistake and he was going to pay for it for the rest of his life. He just hoped the Colonel could understand his reasons. 

“Did you talk with the General today?” BA asked him, interrupting his musings.

The LT sighed and forced himself to speak.

“Yes. I’m going to be Released For Standards. Since he always had a great opinion of me, he is trying to cover me: Released For Medical Reasons would make people talk and he doesn’t want to cause an uproar. That means I am fucked, anyway!” he laughed bitterly, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes.

“Oh, shit, man! This is fucking unbelievable!” 

“I don’t blame the General, Bosco! And anyway, what was he supposed to do? He had no choice! I am the only one to blame for this…”

BA knew Face was terrified at the idea of leaving the team and the Army, and he couldn’t imagine how he felt right now. All he could offer him at the moment was his support. 

“Face, you know that you can count on me, if there is anything I can do please tell me…”

“Can you turn back time to three months ago?” the kid replied in a broken voice.

BA felt his chest constrict in pain at seeing his younger friend so defeated, it just wasn’t a ‘Face thing’ at all, but he had to admit his situation was desperate. 

Two months before

“Face, open the door or I will!” BA shouted at him behind the toilet’s closed door.

A second later a pale, sweating and defeated Face was in front of the black man, ready for the verbal confrontation he knew was going to come.

“What do you want, BA? I’ve asked you to leave me alone… Jeez, a man can’t have a little privacy when he is …”

“When he is what?” 

“When he is sick! Is that alright with you? Can’t I be sick sometimes?”

BA studied the kid’s face closely, noticing the dark circles below his eyes and the desperate expression. He definitely wasn’t alright, he knew there was something more that Face wasn’t telling him. He had been like this for quite some time and if others hadn’t noticed or didn’t care, well, he did and he was going to find out the reason. Face now was at the sink, rinsing his mouth, but when he stood up a little too fast he stumbled forward and BA was ready to catch him. 

“Whoa, brother! You ok?” he asked, steadying him.

The question made Face furious. “For the tenth time, I am alright! Now let me go!” but the words betrayed him because when a new wave of nausea hit him he nearly passed out and if not for the black man’s help he wouldn’t have made it to the toilet. When he was finished, exhausted, he couldn’t avoid the accusatory look of his friend. 

“How long have you been so sick?”

“Two weeks, more or less…”

“And you didn’t think of seeing a doctor?”

Face sighed and wondered how he could explain the whole situation, because he wasn’t sure of BA’s reaction.

“No, I didn’t.” he replied quietly.

“Well, you are going now. I’m taking you to the hospital so they can help you…”his tone was nothing but friendly.

“Bosco, it’s not that I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t see a doctor because I know he can’t help me.”

The black guy was puzzled. Knowing perfectly well that he wasn’t going to win the argument, Face took a deep breath and confessed the truth.

“I’m pregnant.”

BA was silent at first, as if his mind hadn’t fully registered the absurdity of the situation. “You’re what?” he exploded in the small space. Then his expression changed and he relaxed marginally. “How is that possible? You’re a man!”

“Well, it happens sometimes. It’s not very frequent and generally they don’t exactly write it on posters along the streets with their faces on!” he sighed, knowing he was growing angry at the man, despite the fact that it wasn’t his fault and he was just trying to help. Anyway, he could not help feeling nervous to talk about it. He noticed the older man had fallen silent and was staring at the floor clearly ashamed. 

“Look, BA, I didn’t mean to talk to you like I did. I’m sorry, but I’m having a hard time lately dealing with the whole… thing. I know you don’t feel comfortable talking about such personal issues and if you weren’t so big I would have just run away from you. Now… I suppose that, now… well, now that you know… what do you want to do?” Face managed to say without breaking down and crying.

To his surprise, the black man put his big heavy hands on Face’s shoulders and they looked at each other for a couple of minutes. Face thought BA would have let him down in that circumstance but he didn’t. In his eyes now Face was reading sorrow and friendship. He waited nervously for him to speak and when he did it was like a 100 ton load was removed from his heart, and he could breath normally again. 

“I just have one question: is it Hannibal’s?” 

“Yes!”

“Do you love him?”

“More than my life.”

“Do you understand this is going to change just about everything? What do you want to do?”

“Yes, I know things will change and I am terrified of that. And I don’t know what to do. As for now, I’ve just tried to hide the fact from everybody. How did I go?” he asked, a small tired smile gracing his beautiful features.

“Not so good, buddy. Look, you know I was not so happy when I found out you and the boss were lovers; but then, seeing you two together and the way you take care of each other, I changed my mind and now I am happy for you. Does Hannibal know?”

“No, he doesn’t…”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I… I don’t know, I’m just so confused at the moment. This life is the only life I can get, the only one I want to live and I can’t imagine doing something different. And I am not sure Hannibal will be pleased by the news.” 

“You won’t know if you don’t try, Face.”

“I’ve tried, really, a couple of times, when we were in bed, relaxing and… you know… having fun! But he was so happy and I thought ‘If I tell him, he will be pissed off’ so I didn’t, because I wanted to cherish those moments… for when I will be on my own, I want to remember the way we were, together.”

BA shook his head. “You’re talking like you know he is gonna dump you. Maybe you’re wrong, maybe…”

“Bosco, that’s bullshit and you know it! Hannibal is a Colonel, he has a very good reputation and he loves his work, he loves the Army and he will never leave it. Not for me, anyway. You know the rumors about us? My… situation… is going to destroy him, in every way, he will lose what he has built in all these years and he will feel obliged to stay with me because he is a man with strong moral values. I don’t want that.”

The big guy could understand how Face felt and, without a doubt, he took his decision.

“I can help you. To cover the nausea. A friend of mine, when I was 16, was pregnant and for the first month she had serious troubles. Then she found a natural remedy that helped her a lot. I can get those pills for you. About the rest, it’s up to you. I don’t want to force you to do anything but I think being sincere with the man you love is the right move. And you’ll have to be extra careful and take care of yourself, try to stay out of trouble. I don’t want to think what could happen to you on a mission…”

“I know, I’ve thought about it… I… How can I thank you?” 

“Just take care of yourself. I mean it, Face. I can’t be with you every moment of the day.”

The LT smiled again and this time BA did the same. “Are you going to be my shadow, big guy?”

“More or less, yes, that was the idea.”

“Alright, so we have a deal. BA… thank you, for everything.”

“Yeah, well, that’s ok. Now, can we just get out of this hole?”

Laughing at the assumed irritation of his friend’s tone, Face let the Sergeant help him to stand up. 

The following weeks, as he had promised, BA was at Face’s side whenever he needed a little extra support or when he felt dizzy or nauseous. Neither Hannibal, Murdock or anybody at the base noticed he was acting strangely and life went on as usual. Face felt a new man and most of the time he almost forgot about being pregnant. Except when he and Hannibal were in bed, having sex. Every time the LT felt bad for hiding such an important issue from his lover, but he never found the strength to talk to him. 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

That same day, Hannibal came back from a week long mission with Major Green and his unit at 23.00. He was tired and sore but definitely happy to be home again. In spite of the fact that the small house he was living in off base wasn’t really “home”, every time he was asked to join other teams on particularly difficult missions he was always glad to come back to it, because he knew Face was waiting for him. 

The kid was a good soldier, this was a universal truth and Hannibal was proud of him; but he was also so many other things. What they shared was a unique bond. Their relationship had grown with each passing day and it was now four years they had been a couple; they usually didn’t display their status of life-mates in front of others, because a gay couple in a military base far away from their native land was something “strange” and they both knew there were more than a few nutcases who didn’t like it. But in private, in the sitting room of their small place, or in the bedroom or in the shower, they were just their selves: lovers, friends. When Hannibal asked Face to move in to his house, the younger man hadn’t been too convinced at the beginning because he feared that a change in their habits would ruin their relationship; but the Colonel had insisted and Face found out his worries were absolutely unfounded. Of course, there were arguments and disappointments between them, but at the end they found equilibrium. 

Hannibal felt Face had been particularly close to him in the past three months, more emotionally involved actually: they had both learnt to make love without hurry, enjoying every single sensation their united bodies would give them, losing themselves in each other. It was not just sex, it was an act of pure love and trust as they explore new frontiers of pleasure. Every time, after they were eventually finished, Face had seemed lost and teary but the Colonel didn’t think to deepen the subject: it was just the reaction to their sexual activity, he himself had been on the verge of tears many times after the kid had released himself in his softest spot and collapsed against him. So he didn’t think it was important.

That night, the second Hannibal closed the door of their home, Face was on top of him, his mouth devouring him, kissing him passionately and almost leaving him without breath. Never really letting the kid go, the Colonel managed to put down his backpack on the floor and guided Face to their bedroom. Once inside, he stripped him of his clothes and deposited him on the soft surface where he lay watching the older man with an unmistakable look. Hannibal teased his lover, taking more time than necessary to undress himself: with his shirt off, the Colonel touched his own nipples and Face moaned, then when he pulled off his trousers and made a move to slip out of his underwear, Face reached for him and helped him, holding his precious length in his hands, feeling it pulse and almost losing himself in that sensation. 

Hannibal pulled back and the LT whined, but the Colonel held him in position and soon Face lost conception of time and space, aware of the older man probing his soft spot with one finger, letting him relax against the intrusion, then two and finally three fingers, before filling him completely with his erection. Deliberately slowly, Hannibal pushed him almost to the climax and stopped, pleased to hear the younger man begging for him not to stop; when he felt the urge to come, he pushed himself deeper into his lover’s opening and released himself, while the younger man flooded the Colonel’s chest with own semen. 

Panting from the effort, both men finally relaxed side by side on the big bed. Turning on his side in order to reach him, Hannibal kissed Face once more and this time it was his turn to be in control and he pushed his tongue in the kid’s mouth until the need to wash away the remains of their orgasm became unbearable. They shared the same shower and, half an hour later, eventually came out of the bedroom that was a mess.

The rest of the little house was as tidy as usual. Hannibal was glad Face took such great care of it, it was one of the things he loved in his lover. What he didn’t know was that it was BA actually, not Face, who had cleaned the house just a few hours ago. The LT had been determined to leave the base and if not for the big guy’s threat, he would have disappeared. In his mind the plan was simple, to go away before Hannibal had returned so he didn’t have to face him. It was going to hurt but eventually Hannibal’s personal and professional life would have gone on without him. But then BA had asked him where he was going to stay, how he was going to manage to live on his own: Face had tried to con him but it was clear his plan wasn’t perfect. The sergeant made his point clear: he had no choice but to accept his help, at least for now, or he was going to tell the Colonel himself about everything. Reluctantly, the younger man had nodded his agreement but couldn’t really help him when he started to tidy up the place. 

BA hadn’t complained and left his friend alone. He insisted that Face should go to stay with his mother, claiming that this way he wouldn’t have to worry about him not knowing where or with whom he was. “Mama is very happy to have you back, she is going to take care of you, while you are... expecting. And you know how stubborn she is, she won’t take a No as an answer.” Face had tried to argue about the decision but then he accepted BA’s help; somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a little voice yelling at him, telling him he was just a chickenshit because he was relying too much on other people, but the LT was too tired to react. As soon as BA was finished, he had waited for Hannibal, thinking about the best way to break the news to him. 

What happened in the small sitting room some hours later, however, was a completely different scene from what Face had expected. The LT had poured Hannibal a cup of coffee and, holding his own one in his right hand, he went to sit beside the older man on the couch. Hannibal was grateful, as usual, and thanked him in his sweetest voice, the one no one had ever heard except for him. Feeling he wouldn’t be able to speak if he waited too long, Face gathered all his strength and started the most painful conversation of his life with his lover.

“Hannibal, I need to talk to you…” he forced out of his constricted throat.

The Colonel smiled at him. “Sure, baby.” He seemed so happy and so satisfied at the moment and Face felt, again, tears in his eyes. 

“I… I’m pregnant” he declared quietly. It was simple and so scary to admit it in front of his lover but, as he spoke the fatal words, he felt a little lighter. When Hannibal didn’t reply nor did he shout at him, like he thought he would, Face began to worry. He waited anxiously for him to snap out of his shock, not daring to touch him. 

Face’s words reawakened dark memories in Hannibal: when he was still a Sergeant, one of his men had been accused of poor behavior because he had had a relationship with a male soldier at the base and he got pregnant. The fact was a shock to the whole base because, despite the fact that gay people being in the Army was formally against the rules, actually it was not so uncommon. The main rule was DADT. "Don't ask, don't tell" which had been the official United States policy on gays serving in the military. But the guy was pregnant and the fact in itself was something very rare and that made the situation far more dangerous. 

As a result, he had been sent home and released from the Army. The case had been closed in a couple of days and no one talked about it anymore. Hannibal had never imagined he would find himself in a similar situation but, anyway, he would have never thought to live with and to love another man: it just happened and he was happy about it, Face was the other half of his soul and he certainly wasn’t going to let him down now.

“Oh, Face, sweetheart!” the Colonel finally spoke. The LT didn’t know what to think but when the older man took the cup from his shaking hands, placing it on the table near his own, and hugged him tenderly, he felt like he was going to scream. 

“So are you not mad at me?” he asked timidly, avoiding looking at him.

Hannibal smiled softly and, once again, reassured the younger man. “Why should I be mad at you? I know it’s an uncommon situation but with you… you never choose the easy way, am I right?”

“But… but Hannibal…” 

“Shhh, honey. I know it’s a scary thing but I promise you I will talk personally to the General to explain the situation to him. You’ll be released from the Army quite certainly but with no shadows on your military career… Once you have the baby, we’ll figure something out. We’ll find a beautiful house and…”

Face couldn’t believe his own ears. Hannibal was already planning their future in details and he seemed so happy about it, like this was something he had always wanted. Anyway, he still had to confess something and reluctantly interrupted the dreamy monologue. 

“Hannibal, I have already told the General.” The LT whispered.

This time, Hannibal’s reaction was less enthusiastic. “What? Face… why?” then he understood. “How long, Face?”

“Three months.”

“Three months,” the Colonel repeated. Again no sign of the fury the younger man had expected from him, just disbelief. “So, you waited three months to tell me? Jesus, Face, what were you thinking? What if you were shot or worse?”

“BA was taking care of me.” The words came out of Face’s mouth unintentionally. Hannibal was now looking at him with tears in his eyes, not caring to hide them. He was hurting, bad. 

“So, did you tell anybody else?” he asked.

“No. I’m sorry, Hannibal, I’ve tried to talk to you many times but…”

“But what? You assumed I would be pissed off at you, you thought I would throw you out of this house and out of my life?” Hannibal paused to catch his breath, unable to stop crying, his voice cracked and rough. “Well, you were wrong. In case you didn’t notice, I love you… I thought it was the same for you…”

“It is, John, please, you have to believe me! I do love you, with all my heart… it’s just… I didn’t know what to do and…”

“And you choose to inform BA and the General before telling Me that you were expecting My baby? If our roles were reversed, how would you feel now, Face?” Hannibal asked earnestly but Face couldn’t answer. Hannibal understood it was difficult for the younger man to cope with a similar situation but he couldn’t help to feel betrayed. 

“Look, Face, I am not going to leave you alone in this. I just want you to think about how you could have handled the situation differently. Do you have a place to stay? When you go back to the States?”

“Yes, I am going to stay with BA’s mama. At least for now… And I think I will be released in a couple of days… ” 

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to be alone… you can use the bedroom, as long as you stay here, I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

Face didn’t reply, he couldn’t find his voice. He surely hadn’t meant to hurt his lover so badly and he felt horrible for not having trusted him since the beginning. “So, is it over?” he eventually managed to croak.

Hannibal sighed and turned towards him. “I don’t know. I need time to think now. But I will always be present, if you need something for the baby, you know…” 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

It took almost a week for Face’s release papers to arrive and it was pure agony for the young man. He didn’t have much to do and he didn’t know where to go. Even if he was sure nobody at the base knew about his “conditions”, he couldn’t find the strength to leave the house. He had been sure that being rejected by Hannibal because he couldn’t accept his “fault” would be bearable, but this was so much worse; Hannibal had slept on the couch the night after his confession, Face heard him crying and all he wanted to do was to take the older man in his arms and comfort him, telling him everything was alright, but he couldn’t. 

Hannibal’s words were engraved in his mind, his need to be alone understandable and so he waited until dawn, unable to sleep, in the silence of the bedroom they had shared so many nights. The following morning Face ventured out of the room in order to go to the bathroom and the Colonel was already up and preparing breakfast. Usually they didn’t care much about breakfast and Face was shocked to see the amount of food Hannibal had prepared; he wasn’t hungry and he didn’t know how to behave. He tried to be silent but the older man heard him. 

“I hope you’re hungry because I made you breakfast,” the older man stated, his tone calm but detached. 

What was that supposed to mean? The night before the Colonel had declared he wanted to be alone, and now this. Unable to move, Face just stared at him and waited for his next move. 

“Are you ok?” he asked. Again, Face stayed silent. How was he supposed to react to his attentions? When Hannibal cautiously approached him and guided him to the table, encouraging him to sit down and to try the milk bagels he made just for him, he felt like screaming. But no sounds emerged from his constricted throat. Truth was milk bagels made him nauseous but he managed to eat one just to please the older man. 

The rest of the breakfast was consumed in silence, Hannibal actually didn’t eat himself but stared at his lover all the time; the LT felt uncomfortable under his gaze and just wanted to run away from him but did not. Fifteen eternal long minutes later Face declared he was finished with the breakfast’s nonsense; he got up to sit in the outside porch, while Hannibal cleaned the small kitchen and put the remaining food back in the fridge. Normally, a night without sleep didn’t affect the LT but since he got pregnant his body had started to behave differently from usual; the warmth of the sun and the pleasant sensation of fullness from the huge morning meal made him drowsy and he fell asleep on the uncomfortable old swing. 

When he woke up, a good three hours later, stuck in a blanket Hannibal had covered him with, he found out the older man had gone to gather some supplies. The Colonel returned shortly after 2 in the afternoon and hurried inside, claiming he was sorry if he was late but now he was going to fix a delicious lunch. In order to avoid the older man and his attentions, Face spent the rest of the evening dozing in bed but he could not escape the – truth be told – very good meal; Hannibal checked on him a couple of times, clearly worried for his health, and did actually leave him alone only when the younger man explained that he had had a bad night and he needed to sleep; that seemed to reassure the Colonel and Face was left alone with his thoughts. 

Why was the Colonel suddenly so caring about him? Not that he didn’t care before, he had always been more like a father to him and the guys; when oneof his boys was hurt he was always ready to help and never let them down. Never. But things were different now. Hannibal had made his point very clear: he wanted to be present for the child, not for him. He was taking care of Face now only because he was the vessel of his child, not because of him! 

The idea of being dumped after the baby’s birth brought tears to his eyes. Normally he didn’t like crying, he wouldn’t admit to being weak in front of other people. But the events of the last months had left him emotionally exhausted and he just didn’t care if Hannibal heard him, he felt like shit and he needed a breakdown. He screamed in the pillow and sobbed until he fell asleep. Hannibal, of course, had heard that he was in distress but, unsure about how to behave, left him alone; finally, when the room fell silent, he entered the bedroom and sat beside his unconscious lover; if Face was awake, he wouldn’t have let him get so close. 

Hannibal caressed him for a while and the younger man shifted on the bed and actually snuggled closer to him but the Colonel didn’t stay. Physically, he felt the desire to hold the LT in his arms and never let go of him; emotionally he couldn’t forget their conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me, baby? I love you so much!” he sniffed between hot tears. With a final kiss to his lover’s head, he left the room. 

Face awoke four hours later and felt definitely more human. Hannibal was smoking outside and he sighed in relief, the constant hovering of the older man made him uncomfortable. His peace was short lived, however, because Hannibal decided to personally prepare dinner and for the third time in a day he started to bustle about the kitchen. Face didn’t dare to ask him why he was doing it and the Colonel didn’t say it. It was so very strange: it seemed they were trying to ignore each other but at the same time they couldn’t avoid feeling involved in a surreal situation. 

Hannibal was very polite to him and actually tried to talk to the younger man, but it was useless: the wall between the two men was becoming thicker and thicker with each passing hour, the need to talk and to understand each other buried under layers of fears and insecurities. After dinner both men were embarrassed because the house was very little and the only small portable TV was in the sitting room; both men were in search of some diversion to pass the time and they ended up sharing the same room, Face sat on the couch and Hannibal on the armchair, trying to keep as much distance as possible from each other. That, more than anything, hurt. 

Face needed to be reassured and to be held right now and Hannibal understood it but he could not forgive him for having lied to him for so long. He couldn’t avoid, however, the urge to fuss over him, making sure he was comfortable, asking if he needed anything; he even prepared a special chamomile tea and offered it to the LT before he went to bed. “It should help you to sleep” he explained. Face accepted the hot cup from the Colonel’s hands and accidentally he brushed the older man’s fingers: the simple gesture made his heart jump in overdrive and he hurried from the room, hoping Hannibal didn’t see the tears flowing freely down his cheeks. The chamomile helped, anyway, and Face slept almost all night.

The following day was a re-run of the previous one; on the third morning, when Face came out of the bedroom and found Hannibal once again preparing breakfast, he couldn’t help asking him “What’s that supposed to mean, Hannibal?” in a broken voice, hoping not to break down in front of him.

Hannibal watched him with a curious look. “Just taking care of you, kid” was his honest and fair reply.

“I’ve never had any problems in having breakfast before, you know! I’m pregnant, not an invalid!” he spat out in anger. 

Once again, Hannibal didn’t react to his tone. “Come on, Face, there’s no need for you to be so upset. I just wanted to be helpful.”

The LT felt he was about to cry and to laugh at the same time. Hannibal wanted him out of his life and now he wanted to be helpful. It was pathetic, he was pathetic. “I don’t want your sympathy or your pity, Hannibal!”

“This is NOT pity, Face! This is caring for you! There’s a big difference!”

Face could not believe his own ears. “Yeah, sure, Colonel. You just want to ease your conscience while I’m stuck here with you, then you’ll return to your usual life while I will be miles away from you. God! You think I betrayed you because I didn’t tell you about my … condition… as soon as I found out!” He paused, angrily wiping away tears from his eyes. Hannibal tried to calm him down, tried to hold him, saying he wasn’t doing any good to the baby by being so agitated, but Face went wild. 

“Jesus, Hannibal! Why the hell do you think I did it? Because of you! Because I didn’t want to ruin your life! Because I knew the... situation… was going to embarrass you and I didn’t want you to give up your career because of My problems!” The Colonel, who was watching his lover pacing the room furiously, tried to interrupt him but it was useless. “Do you have any idea how I felt? Knowing I was going to lose everything I value in my life? What the fuck do you know about it? What do you know about throwing up every morning and pretending to be alright? I tried to tell you, Hannibal, I swear! But…”

“But what, Face?” Hannibal exploded suddenly. “Do you hear yourself? Don’t you understand this is so far beyond you and me and the fucking career? You’re talking about a baby, Our baby! It’s not a problem or a situation, as you called it. It’s a gift! And it is something we made together, this child is the supreme symbol of our bond. This is not only about you and I’m not doing what I’m doing because I feel obliged to! I want to do it, I want to take care of you. Because I love you…”

“B-But, I don’t understand, Hannibal… You said you wanted to be alone and I thought… I thought…”

“I said I needed to be alone to clear my mind. I *know* I love you, this is not the problem here. But you deliberately chose to lie to me, you put our baby’s life in danger and I can’t just ignore that. I can understand you were afraid to tell me but you should have come to me anyway and discussed the situation as soon as you found out, and together… together Baby!... we would have decided how to behave. Me and you! And you know what? I don’t give a damn about the fucking career, I would have retired and started a new life with you! Now…”

Face waited for an agonizing long minute for the Colonel to finish his tirade, feeling the room started to spin around him but he held on. 

“Now I don’t know if I can trust you again, Temp. I’m sorry but this is how I feel.”

Face could understand it. He knew the Colonel had every right to feel this way. “So, what do you suggest now?” he asked, hoping Hannibal had an answer for his question.

The older man sighed and sat down, closing his eyes. “God, Face, I don’t want to let you go but you have to understand… what you’ve done was absolutely unjustifiable. You put yours and our child’s life in danger and the life of the whole team in danger too. What if you were captured? If you were shot? As an officer it was your duty to inform your superior about your physical condition. You made Bosco an accomplice of your lies. I should report your actions to the General, you know that?” 

Face nodded. Hannibal was speaking the truth. He had no excuses for his behaviour.

“I won’t, however. I think being released is a sufficient punishment for you just now.”

Hannibal’s last words hurt the younger man more than anything. “So… this is a punishment? For my mistakes? Is this your aim? To make me feel worse than I am already feeling?” 

“I don’t know what it is. All I know is with your actions you didn’t leave me any space to help you…”

Suddenly, the world around the LT crumbled and he felt himself falling until a warm solid mass held him upright and led him to the couch. “God, I’m sorry baby… it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have talked to you like that… how do you feel? Are you nauseous? Dizzy? I’ll get you some water… don’t you move!”

Face didn’t feel like moving at all and waited for the dizziness to pass; when the room stopped whirling around him, he tried to sit but Hannibal pushed him flat on his back and helped him to drink the refreshing liquid. The older man was really worried about him and the LT tried to reassure him. “I’m ok, really. It wasn’t your fault… I am the one who screwed up everything… I’m sorry, Hannibal! I love you so much!” he said and smiled tiredly at his lover.

Hannibal smiled back at him tenderly. “I know you do. Now I want you to listen to me and listen carefully: you’re going to go back to the States, stay with BA’s mum, take care of yourself and our little miracle. If you have a problem I want you to call me; I want you to keep in touch with me; I want you to call me if you feel sad or lonely or if you need to talk. I know I can’t be physically present but I’m not letting you down. Do you understand? You didn’t trust me in the past, I want you to trust me from now on, Face! Can you do it?”

The younger man felt his heart lighten at these words. “So there is still hope?” he whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“There will always be. I know things are difficult now, Temp, but we are gonna make it, together!” 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

After their confrontation, both men found it easier to deal with the ongoing situation. Hannibal, unable to help his lover in any official way, did his best by taking care of him in a tender and loving way and this time Face accepted it gratefully: he discovered it was quite pleasant to be the centre of the Colonel’s attentions and, if this was the result of his pregnancy, he regretted not having told him before. He was going to miss it in the next months; he couldn’t even imagine what being separated from the older man really meant now that he was so emotionally fragile.

On the fifth day after Hannibal’s return, Bosco came to their home to announce that the General wanted to speak to the LT; the news was greeted with silence, Hannibal and the Corporal exchanged worried glances, while Face sighed deeply but didn’t speak a word. He got up from the couch where he was nestled around his lover and walked outside. The big guy made a move to follow him but the Colonel fixed him with a deathly stare before joining the younger man; Face was watching the horizon, not really seeing it, the pain he was feeling clearly displayed in his beautiful features. 

“It’s going to be alright, baby!” were the only words Hannibal could think of. 

Face didn’t reply immediately, he was trying hard to control his emotions and it was difficult to speak. He didn’t want the older man to see him crying, again; he had cried enough in the last days, he was sick of being so vulnerable and weak. But he wasn’t trained for this kind of thing and he failed miserably. Hannibal noticed the silent tears on his lover’s perfectly shaven face and didn’t waste time before engulfing him in his arms. “It’s ok to cry, sweetheart. I know you don’t want to but if you need to, it’s better if you do it now, when I can hold you, than at the base…” Face tried again to put on a brave front but soon melted in the Colonel’s arms; Hannibal gently guided him to the swing where they sat for long minutes until the younger man was a little calmer.

“I don’t want to go away,” he finally whispered.

“God, Face, I don’t want that either!” the older man rasped, his voice rough from emotion.

“I don’t know if I can make it without you,” he stated quietly.

“I don’t want you to talk like this, Face. Besides, I know for certain Bosco’s mum is going to fuss over you all the time…” 

“But I need you…”

Hannibal sighed. What could he possibly say to make the kid feel better? He really didn’t know. So he opted for the truth. “Look, baby, we both knew this moment would come. We talked about it. We have to face it, now. I can’t just leave without giving General Morrison a good reason and besides I have … responsibilities, you know! I know we had a rough time when I came back but I know now I don’t want to be separated from you. I just need time to make things work but I promise you - ” and he tenderly cupped Face’s chin, forcing him to raise his head in order to look at him in the eyes “ - I promise you I will join you as soon as I can. Is that acceptable? Can you wait for me, Temp?” 

The LT sniffed and actually smiled a little. 

“Was that a smile?” Hannibal teased him, feeling immensely relieved to see his lover more relaxed and self-confident.

“I already miss you, John. But it’s ok. I have to accept the reality and… I have to tell Murdock! He will never forgive me if I don’t!”

“What if we call him and ask him to come here? Meanwhile Bosco and I will pack your things… not that I want to, honey, but it has to be done, sooner or later, and I don’t want you to be bothered with such things while you’re with us!”

Face gratefully accepted the advice. 

Murdock arrived half an hour later; Face had managed to pull himself together and was waiting for him on the outside porch. The pilot was hyper as usual and Face actually felt better having him around, his energy was contagious and the younger man actually drew strength from him. 

“You’re looking less green than last time I saw you, buddy!” Murdock commented casually.

“I’m feeling better, thanks! But I… I’m afraid I have to leave, Murdock!”

The pilot looked genuinely surprised. “Oh, come on, Face! It was just a bug, now that you’re all clear…”

The LT smiled at his friend and quietly explained the situation to him. “It wasn’t a bug, buddy! It’s a little more complicated than that. I… I am pregnant!” 

The captain’s reaction was electric! He almost jumped out of his skin. “You’re what? But… how… I mean… You are a man… Is that possible? Oh man, I can’t believe it…” he shouted. 

Face’s reply was surprisingly calm. “I don’t know how it’s possible but it’s true. I am sorry I didn’t tell you before but I had a hard time dealing with the whole thing…”

“Did you tell Hannibal yet?”

“Yeah, we had a bad argument after I told him but now we’re ok. I have to go to the General in a few hours, I’m going to be released… This means…”

“You’re going home, I know…” Murdock interrupted. “But, may I ask you? How do you feel about it? I mean, are you happy? I can’t believe it, I’m going to have a nephew in a few months… Do you know when he is due to be born? Is it a boy? Or a girl? I hope it is a boy, not that I don’t like girls but you know… Can I teach him to play baseball? Oh I can already see him holding the bat with his tiny hands…”

Face couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s enthusiasm. “We still don’t know the sex and we still have to decide many things, but I like the idea of having you around my child!” For the first time, the young man spoke about the subject without worry. Life always seemed easier with Murdock around.

Meanwhile, inside, Hannibal and BA were packing Face’s things. That gave the two men the opportunity to talk. It was Bosco who broke the silence. “Hannibal, what would you think if I went back with Face? I mean… not to stay, just for a couple of days in order to help him and mama get things started…”

For a second, the corporal thought he had made the wrong move, as the silence between the two men became extraordinarily dense; but then Hannibal sighed and sat on the bed, relaxing a fraction. “I was kind of hoping you’d offer to do that! I would do it myself but unfortunately I can’t leave right now and Face really could use your help.”

Moving awkwardly in the small room, BA went to sit beside the Colonel. “So, is it ok between us, Colonel?” he asked simply, knowing the older man would understand all the tacit implications of the question.

Raising an eyebrow, Hannibal looked at the Corporal who seemed afraid of his reaction. “Honestly?” he asked quietly “When Face told me, I was mad at you… and jealous too, because you took care of him while I would have liked to be there for him, if only I knew. But I think I understand why you did it. And so thank you, for being such a great friend to us!” 

The big guy exhaled quickly and smiled. “I’m just happy you two are ok now. If you’ll excuse me, now, Hannibal, I have things to do before leaving…”

“I bet. Go, BA.” And Hannibal waved him away with both hands.

 

The meeting with the General went well, everybody at the base was shocked to find out Face was leaving and it took him almost an hour to say goodbye to everybody; the LT was brilliant, as usual, and if the whole situation hurt him then nobody noticed. That night, Hannibal didn’t let go of him, didn’t sleep but watched his lover all night long, drinking in his scent, noticing the already slightly swollen abdomen, caressing him, dreaming of the time when this would be habit for them.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

The flight to the US was calm. BA was too worried about the unusually quiet younger man to think about himself. Since they left Hannibal’s home outside the base, Hannibal and Face hadn’t had any chance to express their real feelings and only when Face was about to get on the plane did the older man hug him, holding him close, whispering words no one other than the LT heard. There were rumors at the base about the two men being a couple but they had always refused to admit anything, not because they were afraid of it, they just felt it wasn’t the right way to live their relationship in that particular “background”. However nobody thought it was strange to see both men teary; they had been “together” for so many years and it was perfectly understandable now if they felt sad to separate from each other.

Bosco supported his friend as best as he could, even if he knew he couldn’t give him what he really needed. When they landed at the O’Hare airport, after the captain’s usual announcement, Face made a little distressed sound. The big guy couldn’t fully understand how his friend was feeling but he was determined not to let him fall into depression or worse; with his big hand, he lightly massaged the younger man’s thigh, a simple gesture of friendship and comfort that actually brought a little smile to the man’s features. A small “Thanks, BA” was all he could manage at the moment but Bosco considered it a start. 

Adele was waiting for them with a huge poster, on which big black letters in a neat handwriting formed the word “Scooter”; Face laughed at the expression on the Corporal’s face as he read it. Bosco frowned a little but soon enveloped the petite woman in his arms, kissing her soundly, and many people turned to look at them: it was always emotional to see a mother meeting her military son at the airport. They eventually disentangled and it was Face’s turn to hold her; the woman smelled of biscuits and homemade apple pie, and the LT couldn’t imagine the amount of food she had prepared for them. 

Once Bosco parked their rental car outside his mother’s home, Adele hurried to retrieve Face’s luggage; the young man insisted it was too heavy for her to carry but she didn’t listen to him. “It’s good to have you back, Face! Now let me take care of you!” she said, caressing him. Face blushed at her sweet manners and escorted her inside. She had already prepared the guest room for him, the same one he and Hannibal shared last time they visited her, but resisted the instinct to put his clothes in the drawer and left the younger man alone, busy with that task. Her son had obviously explained the situation to her beforehand and she was happy to help him, but she needed to understand exactly how to do it. 

“It’s good to have you around, baby. I missed you!” she kissed the big guy and went to sit beside him. “How is Face really doing?” she asked earnestly.

Bosco smiled back at the older woman. “Physically, he is doing well. Emotionally, I don’t know how to help him. He had a rough time after he told Hannibal but it seems they came to an agreement finally. I don’t know what they decided but Face seemed more relaxed the last days at the base, calmer. Being separated from Hannibal is a big trauma for him, though.”

Adele nodded her head. “Is he going to come soon?” she asked then.

“Hannibal? I didn’t ask him but from what I heard he is going to be busy for at least two months until he can get some time off.” Bosco sighed, the prospect of his mother dealing with a highly annoyed Face alone wasn’t appealing to him; he doubted his mother really understood what she was getting herself into. 

As if she read his mind, the woman patted the big guy on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, Scooter! We will be fine. I just need to know one thing: what if he needs a doctor, is there someone in particular I should call?”

“Yeah, Hannibal gave me the number of this… doctor Lipinzski…” and he handed her a small business card. “He works in a specialized institute and has treated other men in the same condition as Face. You can call him and fix an appointment. Ask him everything you need to know. Hannibal told me he is a good and caring person, very professional in his work. If you have a problem, call him.”

Again, she nodded. 

“I’ll do it. So, Hannibal is coming in two months. Is he going to stay?”

“I don’t know, mama. It’s not an easy situation and the Colonel is in a delicate position right now.” BA paused and closed his eyes. He was tired from the long trip and was hungry too. “Anything else?” 

The woman frowned a little. She had a million questions to ask but at the moment she was just happy to have two of her boys at home with her, and she decided it was time for them to have a real homemade meal. She urged Bosco to call Face and waited for them, sat at the kitchen table. Once she was satisfied they had eaten enough – in her opinion – Bosco asked the younger man if he wanted to rest for a while. 

Face hadn’t known he was tired until BA talked about “having a nap” and gladly accepted the offer; timidly, he asked the older man if he could stay with him, he missed Hannibal and needed someone to hold on to at the moment. The Corporal joined him, happy to be there and to be helping his little brother, and Face felt immensely relieved. He fell asleep in a few minutes in the protective arms of his friend. 

The following day they visited Dr. Lipinzski. Face reminded Bosco that he should spend his time with his mother in another way since he was far from home most of the time and his chances to see her had been very rare lately. But BA insisted that he wanted to know if this doctor really was an ok guy, as Hannibal had declared, for his own peace of mind. Of course, the Colonel was right. The doctor greeted them warmly and they exchanged the usual pleasantries before examining Face. 

“I think I’m ready to examine our young man! Follow me please!” Bosco and his mother watched as a very nervous Face reluctantly followed the doctor into his office, closing the door behind him. Once inside, he mimicked the older man’s gestures and sat in front of him in a comfortable leather chair. 

“There is no need to be nervous, Face. Can I call you Face? Hannibal always calls you that when he speaks about you…”

The mention of his lover’s name brought tears to the LT’s eyes. “I’m sorry, doc, you just hit a nerve,” he explained, feeling ashamed of his constant weeping. “It seems all I can do right is cry lately!” he added, trying to justify his attitude.

The doctor offered him a tissue and reassured him quietly. He really was ok! “It’s quite common to cry, in your condition. Don’t make yourself sick over it. And I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. I just miss him very much.”

Lipinzski smiled at him. “I know. I can understand it. Now, I need to ask you some questions, just to get a picture of the situation. Please, answer me truthfully otherwise I cannot treat you properly.”

Face nodded his agreement. “I’m ready!”

“What do you know about male pregnancies?”

“Very little. I know it’s something that happens very rarely. I don’t have any idea how it’s possible. All I know is I feel like shit…”

The doctor snorted at his explicit language. “Nausea?” Face nodded. 

“Mood swings? Cravings? Fatigue? Tender swollen chest area?” 

“Everything you said.”

“How did you manage to hide it? Hannibal told me you pretended nothing had happened. I don’t want to remind you what could have happened to you and your child, I’m sure you got plenty of scolding for your imprudent behavior from your friends.”

Face actually blushed at the comment. “I took some herbal remedy for the nausea. About the rest, I didn’t have much time to think about it; when you’re on a mission, you have to be always at 100% even when you’re not… that’s what we were trained for…” The idea of being cut off from the only world he knew made him sick. He hoped the doctor didn’t notice his discomfort.

“How do you feel about leaving the Army?” the older man asked instead. “I know it wasn’t exactly your choice…”

The LT, now former LT, since he had been released, really didn’t want to think about it. Was this doctor Lipinzski a psychiatrist too? Was he going to pump him full of drugs in order to have him walking around losing his mind? “I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied angrily.

“Are you upset because I asked you?”

Face knew the doctor was only doing his job but he didn’t understand why he was so “curious” about his feelings. “Who are you, a shrink? Why do I have to tell you? And, anyway, I can’t go back. You want to know how I feel about it? I feel… like I’ve lost everything! Being a ranger is the only thing I can and want to do, I love… I loved being a military man, I loved the training sessions in the mountains, I loved to push my body to its limits and further… And the adrenaline when we were on a mission, I loved the feeling of it! I can’t imagine doing something different. That’s how I feel. A stranger in an alien world. What am I supposed to do now? Do you have an answer for this, doctor?” 

“I don’t have the answers you’re searching for, Face, I’m sorry. I understand you are frustrated right now…”

“I’m not frustrated!”

“…and angry, but being released is not the end of your life. You have plenty of possibilities to integrate yourself in the civilian society, get a new job, have a new life…”

“Holy Christ, doc, I don’t want a new life! I want my old life back!” 

“You can’t!”

“I know I can’t! There is no need for you to remind me!”

“You can’t, Face. I’m sorry.”

“Then what do you suggest? Do you have a miracle pill that will make me forget about who I was? I don’t want to deny my past, I am the person I am because of the choices I made and because of the people I met, I don’t want to lose them!”

“Who says you’re going to lose them? Please, Face, calm down.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s not good for the baby…” he replied bitterly “Oh, shit! I’m going to be sick!” He managed to reach the toilet in time to throw up all his breakfast.

Five minutes later, a pale Face was once again sat in front of the desk of his doctor. 

“Do you feel a little better?” the older man asked quietly.

“Yes, sorry if I screwed up Doc, I didn’t mean to… I’m really sorry! It’s not your fault… what happened… and I shouldn’t have talked to you like that!” 

Lipinzski smiled at him. “Mood swings. Don’t worry, I am used to dealing with that. Anyway, as you pointed out, I am no shrink so I can’t help you to deal with the situation, psychologically talking. But, if you want, I can give you the name of a very good therapist, she works here at the institute; can I call her and fix an appointment for you?”

Face didn’t look so happy about the idea. 

“Just meet her, talk to her and then decide if you want to come back. If not, I certainly won’t blame you. It’s your choice,” the doctor suggested.

“Fine, I’ll talk to her. I know you want to help, doctor, it’s just that… the whole situation is a little scary, you know?”

Several questions later, Lipinzski asked Face to lie on the bed with his shirt off. The younger man looked at him with a questioning look. 

“Have you ever heard of scans?” asked the doctor.

“Are you going to show me the baby?”

“Yes. Now lie down and relax. I won’t hurt you, you’ll feel only a little cold because of the gel I have to apply on your belly.”

The exam was actually as the doctor had promised, not painful at all. The baby was fine, it was too early to know the sex but it was there. Face wished Hannibal was with him. Suddenly, he didn’t care about anything else, the only important thing at the moment was the little miracle living inside him, part of him and part of Hannibal. He didn’t exactly choose it but, anyway, since when were Miracles a choice? He surely had a long road ahead of him but he was determined to get better and to welcome his little bundle of joy to the world with a smile on his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

Detached. Void. Helpless. Despite the vow he had made after the scan, when he realized he was really growing a new life inside of him and the joy he had felt in that moment, that was how Face felt now after BA had left them. Adele was always so considerate to him, making sure he had everything he needed, trying to involve him in her every day occupations, hoping to offer him some help in this way. The LT was always polite and never disrespectful towards the older woman but he never felt really involved in his new life, he couldn’t help it. 

Face missed Hannibal, especially at night, he missed the guys and in general he missed his routine: the training, the missions, the courses. Everything. Nothing seemed to interest him at the moment and when Adele didn’t push him into something he spent his time sleeping or watching the tv. The woman was worried but she wisely left the task of deepening the psychological aspects of his problems to the therapist the institute had assigned him. Dr. Gloria Miller was a petite brunette with blue eyes and freckles, around her forties; Adele went to meet her the first time Face came to her and she declared she was really good. 

Face gladly agreed to attend two sessions per week of therapy with her because he didn’t feel too comfortable talking about Hannibal and their relations with BA’s mum; plus there were many other aspects of their life he didn’t want her to know. But the therapy didn’t work miracles and soon Face started to whirl into depression. Gloria tried to help him as best as she could but there were things he never told her and those things, those thoughts weakened his will to be strong and to survive on his own without Hannibal, so many miles away from him. 

Hannibal, for his part, called Face on the phone every time he could but of course there were times they didn’t talk for 3-4 days because the Colonel was on a mission, and at those times Face felt like dying. He was hurting, inside and outside, worried sick for his lover plus the nausea refused to let go of him and the toilet was now his best friend. 

Three weeks after Bosco’s departure, finally, Face openly discussed his fears with his therapist at the Institute. The woman, in the early afternoon one hour session with the “mother to be” former LT Ranger, had asked him the usual questions and when, for the tenth time in a day Face was asked how he was feeling, he exploded. All the inhibited emotions came to the surface and he almost screamed at her, furious because it seemed everybody was blind to what was really affecting him. It was so clear to him and he couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for others to see. 

In his rage, he mentioned that Gloria couldn’t understand him, nobody could, since she was not in the military and wasn’t prepared to help him. Had she ever been to Afghanistan? Or Iraq? What did she know about war? She was just a normal person, living in the same place for all her life; her biggest worry was where to spend the holidays. What did she know about living in a tent in the desert in a military base, far from home, with only the company of your companions? What did she know about losing a friend because of enemy fire? Did she know how it felt to hold a dying man in her arms, telling him he was going to be fine when it was clear he was not, and watch him slide away? Civilians couldn’t understand, they didn’t know how life really was, the real life, not the protected safe one they carried on day by day.

“Why are you so afraid of being just a normal person?” Gloria asked him then. No pity, no sympathy, no rage in her words. She wasn’t upset because of the way he treated her and he was surprised she was still trying to help him. The earnest question startled him; he had never thought about it but she was right, that was his major fear.

“I don’t know. I guess… I guess I don’t want to be forgotten, I don’t want to be left behind.” 

The therapist nodded her head. “Do you think your team left you behind?” 

“They had no other choice.” He replied sadly, the thought of being replaced by someone else in the unit, knowing a new sniper had taken his place, made him sick. 

“So do you think anyone in this country who is not a Ranger or a military man who risks his own life every day on the battlefield should feel inadequate?” 

“No, of course not. But…” If that wasn’t true for the rest of the world, well it was true for him.

“Then why are you so hard on yourself? You were, as you told me, a very good sniper in the Army. You had a very good reputation. There is no reason for your friends to forget you or to give up on you.”

“Gloria, you don’t understand. Once you leave, you’re out of the system in every way. I know that. I’ve heard so many times memories of very good soldiers who left and they were told to be brave and brilliant. But what really matters is not being remembered: it is to be there, to risk your life saving a fallen friend…” 

It was Gloria’s turn to be upset now. “I think you’re wrong here Face! And excuse-me if I interrupted you, I know my behaviour is not exactly professional at the moment. You may not live a dangerous life now but you think raising a child is an easy thing? You think just being a “mother” is an easy reality? You think the life of a woman who is left alone by her man and has to get two jobs to allow her son to attend the best school in town, and still finds the time and the energy to go see him playing football when she is so tired that she could sleep for a decade, so easy? Don’t you think she is a hero? She is the one who smiles at you when you are mad at her because she wasn’t fast enough to give you your money back at the supermarket. She is the one who stares at people watching her in sympathy because she still wears the same old sweater year after year and she never complains; because she is devoted to her family. Do you think this is the life she wanted? Don’t you think she could get frustrated and angry? She has every reason to be, yet still she wakes up every morning at 5:30 and serves breakfast to rude people always smiling at them. Now, if you think this is Nothing, that this is not valuable, you’re very wrong!”

Face fell silent after her tirade, not knowing what to say, but the therapist’s words were true and the young man reconsidered his position. Eventually he found his voice in order to reply and apologize. “I understand what you wanted to say. I… I know this is not the end of my life, I just don’t know where to start. I’ve been in the Army since I was 18, it was my world. I… I think I am afraid of starting again from the beginning as a civilian, maybe if I wasn’t expecting it would be easier but… how am I supposed to find a job? I am already starting to show, I can’t afford to get regular work right now…”

Gloria went to sit beside him and forced him to look at her. “You’re not alone, Face. Hannibal is helping you and your friends and your lover still want you. You have to learn to lean on them. They are willing to help if you let them.” She sighed and took both his hands in her smaller ones. “There is a time for pride and Courage, and you had plenty of that: you earned the respect of your companions and of your superiors far from home, alone in the desert with your unit, you risked your life for your friends and for all American people. We all are proud of you. Let them take care of you now, as you did for them when they were injured on the battlefield, don’t fight them. Don’t be afraid of being “normal”, just try to live these months happily. You don’t see it now but you’re surrounded by caring people who love you, who just want you to be happy. When you have your baby, you’ll see you can still be your child’s everyday Hero, trust me!”

Face felt bad for having being such an asshole. Gloria hugged him tenderly and he cried on her shoulder in relief. “Thanks, Gloria!” he whispered finally.

When he returned home that evening, Adele noticed he seemed more relaxed but didn’t dare to ask him about the therapy session; however, when he asked her if he could help her in some way she smiled brightly at him, knowing he was finally starting to accept his new role. Slowly, he came out of his shell and showed more interest in things. He even asked her if she would like to go to the cinema; that evening she felt so good, every girl in the street was watching him with adoration but he had eyes for her only. 

Hannibal was due to come in three weeks, now, and Face asked Adele if she could teach him to cook. The woman greeted his idea warmly and soon the younger man was able to make apple pies and biscuits, but not only those, he learnt to cook some very good Italian dishes too. He continued to see Gloria twice a week and was checked regularly at the Institute. Everything went as planned, a piece of cake, to say it with Hannibal’s words. Of course, he still had bad days but with Adele’s help he managed to survive them. Hannibal continued to call him whenever he could and Face started to write him long letters. In one of those he included the photo of the scan dr. Lipinzski performed on him when he was around 4 months along: the baby was now visible but Face insisted on not knowing the sex because he wanted Hannibal to be present at that moment. 

On the other side of the ocean, Hannibal and his team were busy with the usual activities; they were still training their new member, a good sniper but far from Face’s level. Hannibal missed his LT very much, not only officially but in every way; BA and Murdock did their best to support him but the Colonel wasn’t much of a talker when it came to feelings, so they didn’t have much success in their goal. One night Murdock couldn’t sleep and slid out of the tent to breathe some fresh air, and noticed Hannibal smoking alone with a strange expression on his face. He asked if he was ok, the older man didn’t answer but showed him the letter with the scan picture; the pilot was completely happy and didn’t understand why the Colonel was upset. He didn’t dare to ask him anyway. 

“I’ve been thinking, Captain,” Hannibal finally said “and I must ask you to make a choice. Since I received that letter I understood this is not my place, I shouldn’t be here but with Face right now. I guess I was afraid to leave and it took me many nights of smoking and thinking to understand it but …” he sighed and mustered his courage to explain his final plan “I am going to resign. I want to go back home and settle down with Face. So, here comes the biggest part: I thought we could run our own business, we could run courses of self defense for women, BA could have his space to box in a proper gym or something and you… I’m sure you’ll find something to do, Murdock. The question is: what do you want do? If.. when I leave, you’ll be assigned to another CO and… I don’t have any rights to tell you what to do with your life, so I’m asking you…”

Murdock was shocked by the declaration, too shocked to speak, but a booming voice behind him resounded in the silence of the base. “Me and the fool were just thinking the same idea. I don’t like the idea of having another CO and I think I should spend some more time with my mum anyway, she is getting older and I want to be present for her, I am all she has left of her family.”

“That means, Hannibal,” Murdock added “We agree with you and we are honored to be part of your life, again!”

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Hannibal, Murdock and BA landed at Chicago airport exactly two months later Face left the base. The Colonel was way more thrilled than he thought at the idea of seeing his lover after so many time apart; Face stood by Adele’s side, still tanned and beautiful as ever, the only indication of his state was the unusual oversize shirt over lax trousers to cover a slightly bulge belly. 

Despite the urgent need to hold his mate, Hannibal let Murdock have him first, knowing the pilot had missed his friend so much and needed the physical contact with him; then it was BA’s turn and finally Face was secured in his arms and he could feel him trembling slightly from emotion. 

Hannibal frowned at him but the younger man reassured him he was ok, just so pleased to see him for real. “Just hold me, John!” he whispered and the older man did it, despite the people looking at them with an uncertain look, but he didn’t care; Face was all that matters to him and he didn’t give a shit about what they thought of them. Eventually, Face released himself from the embrace and led the group to the waiting car. 

Adele asked if it would be alright to have dinner at home and obviously they all agreed, in fact they didn’t care where they were as long as they were together. Face and Adele exchanged an accomplice look; the younger man had insisted he wanted to personally cook himself, the older woman helped him but actually she didn’t much; now, with all their friends sat along the round table, Face started to serve them delicious courses and to his pleasure nothing was left on the plates. 

Several courses after they were finished, Murdock, Adele and Bosco were comfortably slumped on the couch, Hannibal and Face took the two opposite armchairs, both men afraid of the physical contact: the need to hold on to each other had been almost overwhelming at the airport at the point they had been very close to kiss in the public place and the Colonel had promised the younger man to demonstrate how much he had missed him later that night. 

Face whispered something Hannibal didn’t fully understand in return. God, it was so good to have him in his arms again that he wondered why it took him so long to decide to settle down with him. 

Murdock asked him when he was going to tell Face the good news but Hannibal didn’t have an answer for that; in fact he was afraid the shock of a sudden revelation could make his younger lover upset (even if rationally there was no reason for such a reaction, but with Face nothing was odd and a pregnant Face was even more difficult to manage) and he didn’t want to startle him. The pilot didn’t seem to enthusiastic at Hannibal’s mute answer but let the matter drop. 

Now, finally all four men were reunited in the same house: Bosco appeared more relaxed and happy, Adele was almost purring at them, Murdock himself was completely happy to be back to Adele’s home while Hannibal and Face acted a little strange. The pilot understood it was time to leave them alone: he had watched them at the airport, almost melting into each other, but after that they had been awkward all the time. So he complimented BA’s mum for the great dinner. 

“I guess you cooked all day, mum!” BA exclaimed.

“I didn’t do much, honey. Actually, it was Face who made dinner” she replied and smiled at his son and to Face, who blushed slightly at the astonished expression on his friends’ faces.

Hannibal was the first to recover from the stupor. “It was fantastic, kid! I hope you didn’t get too tired though.”

“I must admit I am little tired” he replied, trying not to yawn at his friends “but I enjoyed the cooking part very much.”

The colonel smiled warmly at him and told him with his eyes what he didn’t with words. Face lowered his gaze and sighed. It was clear the two men were now walking on a thin line, finding it very difficult to appear “normal” as the minutes passed. 

“Why don’t you two go get some rest? Me and the big guy will help mama to tidy up. It’s bed time for mummy, anyway!” The pilot offered with a smile, noticing the deathly stare Face gave him at the mention of his state.

Stifling another yawn, the LT gladly accepted the offer and headed upstairs, shortly followed by his lover. Once the door of the bedroom was closed, Hannibal had the younger man in his arms and kissed him deeply, needing to feel him; soon they were both naked and hard but Hannibal kept a slow agonizing pace, teasing Face, kissing and licking every inch on his body, until he felt he himself couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“Can we make love?” he asked finally, his breath a little labored. “Is it safe for the baby?” 

Face nodded. “We just have to be careful” he explained.

The Colonel seemed a little unsure. “God, Face, I don’t know if I can… I need you so much!”

But the younger man smiled at him, trusting him completely. “I know, me too. Just take it nice and slow, John, it will be fine!”

Hannibal did as instructed and soon he pushed himself inside Face’s warm body, feeling the muscles around his sweet hole tightening around his cock, actually squeezing him with every movement. “You’re so tight, baby…” Face moaned a little too loudly and Hannibal gently covered his mouth with his big hand. Was there anything about the Colonel that could not be defined as big? the LT wondered in his horny state.

“You’ve got to be silent, baby… I’m going to cum!” and with a final jerk he felt suddenly dizzy at the unexpected explosion of pleasure. Face’s moment came a few seconds later but the Colonel was ready for him and he captured the sticky substance in his other hand. 

They stayed like that, connected in a single body for a while, staring at each other with a satisfied and relaxed grin on their faces; Hannibal eventually hurried to the small bathroom to wash his hands and to retrieve a warm towel with which he washed the younger man, who seemed blessedly exhausted. He didn’t protest when the older man turn him on his side so to face him and covered them both with the light blanket he found at the bottom of the double bed, but relaxed against his well built chest and let the soft rhythm of his breath lull him. 

“I missed you so much, Temp!” the Colonel whispered in his ear, caressing his soft hair with one hand and his belly with the other. 

“I missed you too, John. Sometimes I felt like dying without you… to have you here, for real, it’s like a dream! Am I dreaming?” Face asked in very soft and sweet voice.

Hannibal felt the sting of tears behind his eyes. “You’re not dreaming, honey, unless we are having the same wonderful dream!” 

Face relaxed even more and closed his eyes. Hannibal remained silent for some minutes then decided to talk to his lover about his imminent resign. But when he felt the younger man trembling slightly against him – as he knew it happened when he was asleep – he understood he had run out of time. 

Holding him closer, thinking how lucky he had been to met him in his life, the Colonel succumbed to sleep.

The following morning, Face was already up when he woke up. 

“Hey, sleepy head, are you already up?” Hannibal asked drowsily, his voice still a little rough from the sleep.

Face greeted him with a soft kiss on the top of his head. “Yes, I am going to run. Want to join me?”

Hannibal frowned a little, immediately worried for his lover’s health. But Face, who knew what was the older man thinking, didn’t gave him time to object. “It’s safe for the baby, Hannibal. I asked dr. Lipinzski if I could and he said it was fine. So, are you coming?”

Hannibal, seeing how happy Face was, thought he couldn’t deny anything at his lover at this point and agreed. “Yeah, I’m coming. Give me five minutes to get dressed.”

Face smiled brightly at him and hurried out of the room. “Good! I’ll wait for you downstairs! Don’t be late!” 

They run for a good two miles alone, then Murdock and Bosco joined them. The LT felt so good to have his friends and his lover back, he wished they could stay longer than one week – as long as their license allowed them – but refused to let that thought ruin such a beautiful morning. 

On the second morning of their stay, Hannibal went with Face to the Institute. He had insisted for the Colonel to be present when the doctor would had told him the sex of their baby and, despite he had already performed a scan a couple of weeks before, Dr. Lipinzski repeated the operation. 

The younger man was a little nervous this time but soon relaxed, feeling the proximity with the older man comforting; while Face was laying on the table waiting for the doctor to ready the scan machine, Hannibal took hold of his hand and squeezed it gently; the gesture was so intimate and so sweet and Face instinctively held his breath, trying not to cry. 

“Try to relax, baby!” the older man whispered and Face complied. The child was turned on his side and it was impossible for them not to notice the little enclosure just below his little hip. 

“You’re going to have a boy!” the doctor announced proudly.

Both men were completely delighted. Lipinzski switched the scan machine off and let them alone for some minutes, knowing they needed some privacy. Hannibal kissed his lover tenderly, feeling immensely proud of him. 

“Did I ever tell you that I love you?” he asked then.

“Yeah… I won’t get tired to hear that though, you know! God, John, did you see? We are going to be daddies!” 

Hannibal hoped not to ruin the magic moment but he couldn’t wait any longer to tell Face. He had had the whole previous day to break the news to him and he felt guilty when he didn’t, it just wasn’t the right time. 

“Face… baby, what… What would you think if I… if I…” words failed the Colonel, he didn’t realized to be so nervous; Face was now watching him with curious eyes, clearly waiting for him to finish his sentence. 

“I thought about what we discussed before you left the base… I was mad at you for not telling you were pregnant but you were right about one thing: I didn’t want to leave the Army!” Face suddenly went pale at those words and Hannibal cursed under his breath for his bad choice of words. “It’s not what you think, please, Face. Let me explain. I like to be a military but what I like more is to be with you, hon. I don’t care where are we going or what are we gonna do for living, I just want to be with you and the baby.”

The LT was watching him with wide eyes, his heart thundering. “What does it mean?” he asked simply, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“It means I resigned.”

“Oh my God, Hannibal… Colonel… Why did you do it? I mean, I thought you… Are you sure about it?” 

“It took me a while to admit it with myself but, yes, I’m sure!”

Some color returned to the kid’s face. “So are you going to stay?” he asked hopefully.

“I still have to go back, I’m sorry. It’s for just for three weeks and then you and I will find our own place where to grow old together. Do you like the idea?”

“I love it, John. What about Murdock and BA? You already have a plan?”

“I’ll explain you later in details. Now, what about some lunch?”

At the mention of food, Face’s stomach rumbled loudly. “Sounds good. But, God, John please warn a guy before trying to give him a heart attack next time!” 

The three men left at the end of the week; Face wasn’t happy but he didn’t say anything. Three weeks and he was going to have Hannibal with him for the rest of his life. But when after 12 days Bosco called him to say they were coming home earlier he knew something was wrong. He asked to talk to the Colonel but the big guy babbled an excuse, that he was not there at the moment. 

BA was determined to keep the wow he made to the Colonel, not to make Face worried about him, but at the end he gave up and explained the truth: there was an ambush and the Colonel had been hurt. He was going to be alright, though. He was in the hospital but was going to be released in two days. He was ok now but the doctors wanted to keep an eye on him for another day or so. Since after the accident the Colonel had some days off, there was no need for them to stay any longer and so they were coming back earlier. 

Face had always feared something bad happening to his lover while he was away but he had never imagined how it felt to heard those words; his legs suddenly couldn’t hold him and the world around him went black. If not for Adele, he would had crashed to the floor face first; the woman briefly talked to her son on the phone, explaining the situation, and then called the Institute, praying both men were alright.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Adele knew something was wrong with Face the moment she saw him holding the phone with both hands, shaking like a leaf with glassy eyes; a few seconds later he collapsed but she was ready to catch him before he landed face first to the hard wooden floor. Bosco was shouting at the other end of the line, clearly worried; once the woman was sure Face was safe, she briefly explained the situation to her son, assuring him she knew what needed to be done and she hung up. 

The next call she made was to the Institute: a young secretary asked her several question before telling her an ambulance would had been at her house in 15 minutes. 

Adele thanked the girl and waited for the longest quarter of hour of her life; the younger man, whom she was now holding in her arms, was still unconscious; there were no visible signs he was hurt but with the pregnancy she couldn’t tell if her really was alright. 

When the paramedics arrived, she was praying for Face and Hannibal to be both ok; the equipment they carried in the small sitting room was a little scary but she knew they were all necessary to determine and to stabilize the young man’s conditions: luckily they knew about his “state”, they checked his bloody pressure, his saturation, his pulse and they auscultated the baby’s own pulse. At that point, the paramedic with the stethoscope exchanged a worried look with his colleague, who was near Face’s head, checking his pupils. 

Adele asked if there was something wrong but the man gave her a vague answer. “We are going to get him on the gurney now, Madame. If you want you can come with him in the ambulance.” The older woman hurried to retrieve a few personal items she thought she would need and followed them, sitting in the small space near the hatch back in the back of the vehicle. She kept holding Face’s hand even if he never regained consciousness during the journey; at some point one of the paramedics spoke to the driver, who nodded seriously and stepped on the gas. She understood it was something bad because they kept checking the baby’s pulse every minute. Finally they arrived at the Institute and Adele lost track of Face, who was hurried inside the E.R. and disappeared behind a double door with a big “PERSONNEL ONLY” sign above it. 

She waited nervously until the secretary whom she talked on the phone asked her if she needed anything and gently made her sit in one of the armchair in the waiting room. Two hours later nobody hadn’t told her anything yet and she kept pacing the room, holding her rosary in hands and chanting prayers for another hour until Doctor Lipinzski himself came to her, still dressed in the green gown you see the medics wore on TV shows. His expression was very serious and when he asked her to sit down she complied, feeling suddenly dizzy. She had a million questions to ask but she couldn’t find her voice to speak and so she simply listened to the doctor’s words.

“Mrs. Baracus. I’m sorry we have to meet again in this circumstances. First of all, Face is stable and he is going to be moved in a regular room as soon as my colleagues are finished to treat him. I must ask you if he was hurt?” 

The woman watched the doctor with a surprised look. “Hurt? What do you mean? No, he was fine…”

“Do you know if, for example, he fell or he had any complications lately?”

“He did not fall. And yes, he kept having abdominal cramps because of the nauseas but he came here less than two weeks ago for a scan and he was fine. Fine considering that he’s pregnant, of course.”

The doctor nodded and relaxed a fraction. “I see. Apart from his physical conditions, how was he handling the separation from Hannibal and his friends?”

Adele didn’t know why the man was asking questions of which he should already knew the answers. “I am honestly surprised by your questions, doctor.” She said in a annoyed tone. “You perfectly know he is seeing a therapist, if I remember right it was you who suggested it would be helpful. She is in an internal, Gloria Miller. Didn’t you talk to her?”

“I suggested Face to see a therapist, in fact, because I thought it would help him to deal with the psychological aspects of the pregnancy but I didn’t read his files. I should ask Doctor Miller’s permit to and she is not here and I can’t reach her on the phone, unfortunately. So I need to ask you…”

“Well, Face didn’t really like to talk about himself with me” Adele started, his voice low and sweet “I think he was ashamed to talk about particular aspects of his life.”

“Such as…” Lipinzski encouraged her, knowing the situation was hard on the woman too.

“About Hannibal, for example. I knew they were lovers since the last time my son came to see me last year and they all stayed for a week…”

“Face, Hannibal, your son and Captain Murdock?”

The woman sighed at the memories of the happy days they spent together. “Yes. The four of them. The whole team. Scooter – my son – is very proud to be a member of Smith’s unit; they are really close to each other. 

The first month or so was really hard on Face, he was missing Hannibal badly, I heard him crying at night… he was desperate, he sounded absolutely terrified to be separated from him… I tried to help him but it seemed nothing worked. I started to worry but then something happened, he didn’t tell me what exactly but he came here to see Gloria one day, he was completely depressed and angry when he left me at home; when he came back he was another person. 

I don’t know what she did tell him but since then he changed and showed more interest in things and I really thought he was alright.”

“What other aspects of his life did he avoid to talk with you?”

“The same ones my son doesn’t want me to know.”

“About his work?”

“I think so. He doesn’t do it on purpose, not to cut me off anyway; he does it to protect me. He probably thinks if I don’t know what he is really going through every day I would feel better… I guess Face believed the same.”

“So, after the first month, he seemed doing better?”

“Face? Oh, yes, he even took me to the cinema and was always very caring about me.”

“Did you notice if he was tired lately? More than usual?”

Adele concentrated before answering, not wanting to give the doctor a wrong indication. “Maybe a little, but I thought it was normal. He was entering the six month and…”

“So you supposed it was due to the pregnancy?”

“Exactly.”

“What about the phone call he received tonight?”

“You want to know if it caused him to collapse? It seems obvious to me! Look, doctor, can you tell me what happened? I’ve been here for three hours now and honestly I don’t think I can help you this way…”

Lipinzski sighed and rubbed his eyes. He looked tired. “It’s not so easy, Madame. In short, a woman is naturally programmed to carry a child and her body knows how to behave in that case. A male pregnancy is a very rare event. Basically the man’s body is not prepared for the changing he is undergoing and it causes many problems: abdominal cramps, for example, because the muscle of the area that supports the baby are not so “flexible” as women’s ones. Face had been under a lot of stress since the beginning and it certainly didn’t do any good to him or the baby…”

Adele didn’t want the man to continue, didn’t want to hear anything. What if Face had lost the baby? How would he react? How would Hannibal react? But eventually he found the courage to ask “Is the baby alright?” with a small voice, feeling hard to breath at this point.

“The baby is fine; we performed an exam and it seems he didn’t suffer from the accident… there was a risk Face was miscarrying, though. When he was brought in he was hemorrhaging internally and we didn’t know how serious the situation was. If the paramedics had been ten minutes later, they could both be dead now.”

With a strength she didn’t know to have, she didn’t faint as she believed to do but asked if she could see him.

“Once he is moved in his room, an orderly will come to advise you. I want to keep him in observation for some days, anyway, and I think he will be out of it most of tonight so…”

“Thanks, doctor, but I’m staying. I promised Scooter I wouldn’t have left him and I want to keep my word.”

Lipinzski nodded his agreement and left. Adele sagged in the armchair, feeling exhausted. Half an hour later she quietly entered the room where Face was sleeping: it was a single room with a large window, two comfortable chairs and a little table on the left, a closet on the right near the bathroom’s door opposite to the bed. 

The young man appeared a little pale and small, surrounded by machines the woman didn’t know anything about but they were constantly beeping and she assumed it was a good thing. There was a IV line attached to the kid’s right hand, another giving him oxygen through his nose and several electrodes on his chest all connected with a heart monitor trough long wires. A light blanket covered him up to the waist, revealing his protruding belly. Not wanting to wake him, she sat on the nearest chair to the bed and held his hand, which was so cold. 

She spent almost all night praying for him and for his son and the whole team to be safe and alright until she fell asleep around 4 a.m..

Face never woke up during the night; the following day he rallied a few times, perfectly remembering the phone call he received before collapsing , every time asking about Hannibal but he was never lucid enough to understand what people around him were saying. He was aware of a sensation of discomfort but generally he wasn’t in pain. 

He knew Adele was with him, he recognized her despite he couldn’t focus his vision and he was feeling extremely weak and tired; next time he opened his eyes it was Gloria who was holding his hand, he tried to talk to her but his voice was raspy and his throat dry. The woman offered him some water and then it was easier to talk; of course he asked about his lover and Gloria smiled back at him, suggesting him to rest and to sleep. 

He didn’t want to sleep anymore, he wanted someone to answer his questions and he kept repeating his lover’s name like a mantra, but his body needed the rest and he succumbed to sleep once again. The doctor came to see him while he was unconscious and the nurses came every 6 hours to administer him his meds. He was asleep most of time for the following day also, Adele and Gloria stayed with him making sure he was not alone when he woke up. 

On the morning of the third day, he opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight he could think of: the blurry image of a silver haired man with light blue bright eyes; this time when he pronounced his name, the figure came closer to him and kissed him on the forehead. 

He still felt incredibly tired and it was impossible for him to keep his eyes open but he tried desperately to fight against it, squeezing the Colonel’s hand in a vain attempt to remain conscious. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up!” the sweet voice, tinged with emotions, murmured in his ear and Face let go, finally able to relax because now he knew Hannibal was back with him and alive. 

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Two months later

The four men were locked in the small bedroom painted in light blue around the huge box containing the baby’s crib. Face saw it on the net almost a month and a half before and he decided he wanted it. 

Hannibal visited every shop in Chicago but it was impossible to find it and so they ordered the item on the site directly; it was due to arrive three weeks ago but the first delivery was wrong: they send them the pink version and they had to send it back, much to Face’s dismay. 

Now they were all excited to open the box and see if it was the correct one; Hannibal, cutter in hand, approached the cube slicing the paper alongside the brown tape, careful not to apply too much pressure in order not to ruin the wooden material inside of it; Murdock and Bosco were at the Colonel’s sides, ready to spring in action in case he needed any help; Face, sat on a wooden rocking chair with his back supported by a cushion, was holding his breath and nervously urged Hannibal to go on. 

Once the cutting part was done, he then proceeded to open the two strips of the box to reveal a Styrofoam packing case; with the help of Mudock and BA, Hannibal extracted it from the external paper box and carefully placed it in the middle of the room, then they started to unwrap it under the vigil eyes of Face; the Colonel let a sound of joy slip out of his mouth when he saw it was the correct article this time, the LT sighed in relief and the older man went by him to kiss him lightly on the forehead, caressing his hair in a caring and tender gesture. 

He then handed him the assembling instructions, which Face read carefully in every parts to his friends, not wanting the younger man to get tired but knowing he needed something to do, also knowing Face wouldn’t forgive him for assembling the baby’s crib without him. 

“It says” he started “Step 1: unpack…”

“Done!” Bosco and Murdock uttered in unison.

“… and familiarize yourself with all parts and components by comparing them with the pictures and descriptions on pages 2, 3, 4.”

“Done!” they replied again.

“You didn’t compare them since you didn’t have a look at the pictures yet!”

Bosco glanced at the younger man to see if he was serious and sighed. “Fine, give us the instructions!” and he forced Murdock to have a look at them. He knew Face was exaggerating things right now but he didn’t want to make him any more nervous than he already was, so he complied to his requires. He then handed him back the sheets so to let him read the next part.

“Step 2” Face went on more confidently and relaxed, to the three men’s relief “Note: Some Crib designs are made to be viewed in a certain way. Example: Designs, carvings, moldings, etc... The option of mounting the dropside and drawer, allows the decorative view of the crib to be seen properly and the operational portions (dropside and drawer) to be where needed. The drawer guides can be mounted two ways. You will need to determine which side the drawer will open and mount the guides accordingly. The wheel in this guide is where the drawer front will be. This option may not be necessary on all cribs.” He paused and frowned, mumbling something about how a person wasn’t supposed to be a genius to understand such things. “Mounting the drawer guides to the bottom of the headboard and footboard. Using wrench B, mount the two drawer guides to the bottom of the headboard and footboard with screws A (pg. 2) in the lowest holes on the inside of the end panels. Tighten screws.” He looked at the picture and nodded. “Ok. That part is quite easy. How is it going?” he asked to the whole group.

“Fine. Almost done. Go on to Step 3.” Murdock answered quietly.

“Alright. STEP 3 Diagram 2 STABILIZER BARS ASSEMBLY Attach stabilizer bars (pg 3) to headboard. From the outside of the headboard insert screws E with plastic washers D through holes provided and into stabilizer bar. Insert nut C into stabilizer bar and thread screws E with plastic washers D into nuts C. Tighten until snug with wrench F. Repeat for footboard.” Never looking at them, he re-read the paragraph slower with a puzzled look. “… insert screw E… what is it? Ah, that! And plastic washer D is…”

“This one!” the pilot announced, holding the small piece in his hand so to show it to his friend.

“Thanks Murdock. Did you find nut C?”

“I’ve got them!” BA answered this time and Face nodded, satisfied. 

“Thanks BA. Can I go on?” 

“Just wait for them to fix the other side, baby!” Hannibal interrupted sweetly and Face smiled at him. It took them less than three minutes to complete the operation and the young man resumed his lecture. 

“STEP 4 Diagram 3 SPRING FRAME To attach the spring frame, carefully place spring frame in the crib so it rests on the stabilizer bars. Attach lower portions of the brackets to stabilizer bar using 4 screws H and 4 nuts G. Tighten with wrench B. Note: Nuts will be to the inside of the stabilizer bars… Do you need to see the picture, BA?” 

The black guy said no with his head. “I think I’ve got them, Faceman!” he offered back with a smile.

“Alright, tell me when you’re done!” Face replied happily. 

“We’re almost done. Go on reading the next part.”

“STEP 5 Diagram 4 The spring frame has three height positions. Use 4 screws H and 4 nuts G to mount upper arm of bracket to desired spring height. Note: nuts will be to the inside of the spring frame. Ok, so, Hannibal, can you help them? I think we could use the higher position for now.”

Hannibal knew Bosco and Murdock were perfectly capable to do it alone but joined them and the three men exchanged an amused look: it was a funny situation and they were actually having fun pretending to be beginner assemblers.

“All done, baby. Please, go on.” Hannibal encouraged his lover.

“STEP 6 Diagram 5 Insert screw “X” into the upper hole in the headboard and tighten fully using wrench “B”. Proceed in the same way to insert screw “Y” into the lower hole using spanner “Y2”… I hope you understood because I don’t know what they are talking about…” Face complained but Murdock reassured him and so they went on until the crib was finished. 

Once the floor was clear of all the empty bags and the Styrofoam, they asked Face where he wanted it to be placed in the room but the young man couldn’t answer them, he was too busy to hold back the tears and to control his emotions. 

“Thanks guys, can you give us a moment?” Hannibal asked then to their friends. The two men quietly left the room with a satisfied look on their faces. Once they were alone, the Colonel knelt down in front of Face and hugged him tenderly, comforting him and the LT apologized once again, as he did a thousand times in the last two months, for being so silly.

“You’re not silly, honey. You’re pregnant and that makes you more sensitive. I love you!” the older man explained quietly, kissing his lover’s wet cheeks.

Face sniffed and smiled. “I love it, John. It’s fantastic. Where should we place it?” he asked then, his voice still a little rough but definitely sweet.

“I think here, beside the window?” When Face nodded his agreement Hannibal moved the crib and then went to stand beside his lover. “Can you imagine we will have our baby sleeping here in two months?”

“I cannot wait to that moment, John.” the younger man replied in a dreaming voice, turning so to rest his head on Hannibal’s muscular chest.

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Right now I just want to hold you! I just want to feel you and don’t let go, never let you go.” 

Face sighed at those words and kissed the older man’s neck. “Show me!” he simply stated. 

“In our room…”

“Show me the way, Colonel!” 

“My pleasure, Lt!”

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Hannibal and Face moved in their new house shortly before the young man entered the ninth month of his pregnancy. 

The building was situated in the south area of the city, in a residential contest; the owner was an old man who was selling it not because he didn’t like it but for reasons of strict necessity: in fact he had lived in there with his wife and his family for over thirty years but now he was old, his children all grown up and married with children too, living in their own places; his wife died a couple of years ago.

The property was too big for the lonely man to maintain it: large kitchen, comfortable sitting room, guest room and bathroom at the ground floor; two bedrooms, study and bathroom at the first floor. The master bedroom had also a bow-window and a persona bathroom; laundry and a couple of spare rooms used as warehouses were in the basement. The wooden structure was solid and it only needed fresh paint, especially on the outside; the house definitely needed some new furniture and more technologies but it was perfect for them . There was a porch on the main façade, a small garden in front of the street and one larger on the back. 

The first time Hannibal came to visit the house – alone, because Face was still supposed to take it easy and rest and stay off his feet - the owner welcomed him warmly, offered him to drink and talked about how happy he had been in that house with his family; the Colonel explained his situation – that he was a Colonel within the Army in the Special Forces but he had resigned and he was searching a house where to live with his son.

Not that he was shy to admit his relation with Face but he supposed the old man would had been shocked to hear the truth, plus he feared people would not sell him their house if they knew he was gay and his lover was pregnant. He himself considered it a supreme gift life gave him but most people did not, they would think of Face as some kind of freak, a monster and he didn’t want that to happen – and, after making a tour of the whole building and taking a million photos, declared he still had to talk to his son before taking a definitive decision but he liked the house very much and he wished the younger man would agree with him so to buy it. 

The owner displayed a huge smile to the Colonel, saying he was glad to leave the property in the capable hands of a very respectful and honorable man and hoped to hear soon from him. He did not have to wait long because two days later he received a phone call from Hannibal. One week later the papers were signed. Face was enthusiastic at the idea of moving in the new accommodation but Hannibal insisted to wait until he and the guys had finished the necessary maintenance works.

It was now ten days they had settled down and everything was proceeding as planned. Being a military for so long, Hannibal couldn’t avoid to plan the “event” in details. 

Face decided to have a natural delivery instead of a less painful C-section, like the Doctor suggested, but he was doing well and he absolutely wanted to be awake when the baby would birth. Hannibal agreed with his lover’s idea, clearly excited at the idea of being father of a young life; Lipinzski insisted for Face to come to the Institute at the first signs of discomforts, however, without waiting for being in much pain, that way they could control the situation better plus he would be assisted by well trained nurses and doctors and so they had nothing to worry about. 

Truth to be told, the young man wasn’t worried; he had been sick worried for Hannibal and his friends for months and now that they were finally reunited he was enjoying their company and their attentions. He didn’t even whine when Murdock or BA insisted for him to take a nap or simply to rest or when they asked him ten times a day how was he feeling; he was going to miss it when the baby would be on his own. 

As Gloria suggested, he learnt to accept help from his lover and his friends for what it was, with no self- recriminations that they were doing it for pity or because he was a burden to them. The baby was due to birth on the 26 of July. Hannibal had already prepared a bag with Face’s things to take to the hospital; one for the baby, which contained rompers, bibs, diapers, towels and some other stuff the doctor had specifically required; one for him, because he didn’t want to leave his lover and his son alone. He placed the three bags in the sitting room, near the main door, despite Face’s objections that they gave the room an untidy aspect. 

Hannibal also managed to convince the younger man to use the downstairs bedroom, which was little but definitely more comfortable for him. The Colonel spent most of his time at home, fussing over his pregnant mate, making sure he had everything he needed; he eventually would get out to running errands only if Face wasn’t alone.

On July the 12, Face was dozing the afternoon away in the guest bedroom; Hannibal had been called at the gym (their Gym) a couple of hours before because of some very important matter that cannot wait and Murdock gladly accepted to stay with the young man while his lover was away. It was just a precaution, Face was doing well but Hannibal wanted to be sure he wasn’t alone in case he needed anything. 

The pilot was watching TV in the sitting room with a low volume, not really seeing it and almost falling asleep himself when a small muffled cry pierced the silence. He was on his feet instantly and made a beeline for the bedroom where Face was, finding the younger man awake and in pain; he was almost sat up against a mountain of pillows, that was the only position in which he could get some rest without feeling any pain in his back. Coming to sit beside him, Murdock noticed the damp sheets and covers and shivered.

“Face… are you alright?” he asked in a small voice.

The LT nodded slowly. “I think I broke my water… help me to get up!” he declared quietly.

“Where are you going?” Murdock asked, not sure if Face was supposed to walk now.

“To take a shower before going to the hospital. Where is Hannibal?” he replied almost casually, as if the situation didn’t hit him and it was routine. The pilot was glad the younger man hadn’t lost his grip; to answer his question, however, was more difficult because Face was clearly expecting his lover to be home and not finding him when he most needed him could cause him distress and aggravate the pretty delicate situation. 

“Hannibal is at the gym, buddy. He was called because of some important business but he should be back soon…”

Face’s reaction to the news wasn’t pleasant. If a second before he had been calm and self-confident, now he almost sagged to the floor if Murdock hadn’t been there to hold him upright. 

“Whoa, Facey, warn a guy before collapsing… come on, help me, you’re too heavy for me to carry you!” and he directed the younger man to the bed but he stubbornly declared he needed a shower. 

“Ok, but I’m helping you. I don’t want you to get hurt because you fell in the tub or anything.” and efficiently helped Face out of his wet shirt, pants and underwear. 

Getting in the tub was a difficult operation because the cubicle was not large enough for the two of them and Murdock wavered for a second unsure about what to do. 

“Hannibal makes me sit on the stool and steps outside usually…” Face explained then and the pilot, grateful for the suggestion, did as instructed. 

Once Face was comfortable he started the water, making sure it was not too warm but neither cold and gently washed the muscular body, noticing how tense the skin on his stomach was. Once he was finished, he helped him to dry himself and to get dressed. 

Face didn’t talk during the whole procedure and remained tense despite Murdock’s promises he would be alright. When the pilot asked him about the bags Hannibal had prepared for him and the baby, he cried out. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me, Facey…” he gently urged the younger man, holding his hand as he panted after the contraction and realizing they could not wait for Hannibal to come back home but he had to take his friend to the hospital now. 

“Where is Hannibal? I need Hannibal…” Face whined weakly, feeling lightheaded, holding tightly on his friend’s hand.

“He will meet us at the Institute. Come on, on your feet Lieutenant. We’ve got to get you in the car.” 

Face was confused, John was supposed to be there to help him as he promised a million times. Where was he? He didn’t think he could do it without his lover; he was glad the pilot was him, though. He let Murdock help him off the couch and on his feet and to walk the few steps to his car, where he ungracefully crashed on the seat. 

Murdock hurried back inside to retrieve the sports bags with their personal things, then closed the main door and he was back in the car. He drove as carefully as possible despite the traffic and they arrive at the hospital half an hour later; Face didn’t talk much during the short trip but he wasn’t in much pain to Murdock’s relief. 

In the alley of the Institute, the doctor was waiting for them: Face was helped to a wheelchair and taken to his room, the captain followed him. Within ten minutes the young man was comfortably resting in a fresh soft bed. The doctor visited him once he was settled and assured him he was doing good, the baby was just fine but probably it would have been a few hours until he was ready to deliver his child. Face, who was already exhausted by the trip and the contractions, didn’t want to believe it and just shook his head. The doctor left the room and they waited. 

Two hours later Face was wasted, the last contraction left him without breath and he really wanted the baby to birth at this point.

“Murdock, call Hannibal!” he breathed in a hoarse voice.

“I’ve called ten times already, he will call back when he sees my messages. Try to relax, Facey… deep breaths…” 

“Next time you say ‘try to relax Facey’ I swear I’m going to kill you!” the LT warned just as the door flung open and a highly worried Colonel burst in the room. Face almost cried in relief and let the older man hugged him.

“I’m sorry, baby, so sorry I wasn’t with you this afternoon… Are you ok? Did you talk to the doctor?” 

“Yeah, he says I have to wait until I am more flared or the baby will suffer… I don’t think I can do it! I changed my mind, I want a C-section now” he murmured in the older man’s chest, feeling exhausted but a little better now that Hannibal was with him. 

“Just hold on a little longer, honey. You’ve been so brave…” the soft chanting the Colonel kept whispering in his ear lulled the younger man into a blessed light sleep that lasted only some minutes until a new contraction came and he screamed and he swore and then he was calm again in Hannibal’s arms. “I love you, baby!”. 

Sweating and panting from the exertion, Face just moaned in reply, closing his eyes. The Colonel, who was sitting behind him so the younger man was almost in an upright position, quietly wiped away an errand curl from his forehead and kept rubbing circles on his back with his warm hand in a shooting gesture. 

“Feels good. Don’t stop!” the younger man whispered, leaning in the comforting arms of his over protective lover.

Two hours later the doctor finally declared Face was ready. At this point, the LT was not fully conscious of what was happening around him; he was aware of Hannibal’s presence and he was glad for it, he knew the doctor was with them now but he couldn’t really focus on him and he couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

At some point he felt the need to push and more people were around him, nurses and assistants, and he kept pushing despite the pain until he heard Hannibal gasp behind him and a small high-pitched cry pierced the sudden silence of the room. Then Hannibal left his side to return a few minutes later with a small bundle in his arms, covered with a soft light blue towel: his baby. 

Tears in his eyes, he caressed the small creature with one finger and the child gripped it with his small hand.

“Welcome to the world, Liam!”

TBC (epilogue)


	11. Chapter 11

The days immediately after Liam’s birth, Face was never alone: Hannibal, who had immediately slipped into “father” and “over-protective lover” mode the second after his son’s cried his first greeting to the world, refused to leave the hospital when the doctor timidly suggested it, claiming he had no other place to be and explaining he needed to be exactly where he was. 

Luckily, Face’s room was big enough for the personnel to add a second bed so, at least, the Colonel slept comfortably beside his lover and his son. Lipinski knew the man was capable of sleeping in one of the hard chairs of the hospital if they didn’t provide him a bed where to rest properly so they helped the couple to feel “at home”. 

Murdock, who had been there all the time since he himself had driven Face to the hospital, left only after Hannibal ordered him to, feeling a little annoyed at him because of his constant hovering and fussing over his lover and the child; he knew the two men were close friends but, sometimes, the pilot became a little obsessive and he kept touching and kissing and holding the baby and Face and Hannibal didn’t really like it. 

Not that he was doing anything wrong but the Colonel was a little jealous about his child and he would had preferred to spent some time alone with his family instead of sharing every single moment with their hyperactive friend. 

Unfortunately, Murdock didn’t understand it and felt a little hurt when the older man roughly send him home but Bosco, who luckily had always had a way to get to the pilot, explained him the situation and at the end nobody got hurt. They (Murdock and BA) still visited their friends twice a day, every day, with Face’s and Hannibal’s blessing: it was good to have them around and to feel their affection. 

Adele went to visit the happy couple with Gloria: both women were a little shy at the beginning, mostly because of Hannibal and his formal manners, despite Adele already knew him, but soon got used to him. The therapist (now officially friend of the whole Team) and the nurses explained the two daddies many things about babies and offered to baby-sit Liam whenever they needed to: it seemed the little creature was making everyone happy and the world suddenly beautiful, a better place to live in. 

The day they came home everybody was excited, everybody except Face who did seem a little nervous. Hannibal asked him what was he thinking and surprisingly the younger man didn’t hide behind excuses but answered honestly to his lover that he was nervous about going home, because they were going to be alone without support and what if the baby would cry and they didn’t know what to do? 

Hannibal reassured him and explained it was a common reaction but admitted he himself was little nervous too. He was ready to start his new life with his family, though, and it was going to be alright. And it was, actually. 

The first months Liam made it hard on everybody, especially on Face, who slept very little because the baby ate every three hours (eight times per day) and he barely had time to recover between two consecutive meals. When he upgraded to 4 times a day some months later Face finally had a little time for himself. 

Not that Hannibal was absent, he was a good and caring father and a great lover, but he was busy most of the day with the guys at their new gym and Face knew it was good for them to have something to do, a job to attend and money every month. 

Little Liam worked miracles for the couple and for the whole Team, including Adele and Gloria. They were so proud of him! Sometimes Face wondered why he had been so scared at the beginning of the pregnancy because now he knew what was really important in his life. 

END


End file.
